Finally Free

I apologize again. This isn't part of my blog but I feel like I should write about this part of my life. No one should go through these kinds of things and I know some people that are, people that I love. Those people are in my prayers and I pray that they can over come this. There are also people that have it way worse than I did and I pray for those people too. These are my feeling toward what happened, I never really told anyone about how I felt during this time. Most of this stuff I don't remember at all.

Ahh to be 10 again. Running around playing with friends without a care in the world. Having grand mal seizures and wondering what is going on. Your thinking a 10 year old shouldn't be going through that. I certainly did. I have been having a hard time talk about this part of my life, its hard to explain the feeling I feel when i talk about it.
When I was in high school the seizures showed up again and went away for a couple of years... till October of 2009. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, clogged artery's in the heart, and something to do with my frontal lobes in my brain and oxygen. All of this wasn't what was attacking my body. From October 2009 - mid March of 2010 maybe longer I was having 7-8 grand mal seizures a day and passing out 5-7 times a day. At first I would just  pass out than they started to become seizures. Than I started to stay awake during them. I was taking 2 different seizure medications, 1 or 2 different kinds of blood pressure, anti depressants and anti anxiety I think I was taking more but I cant remember. Also I had heart monitors put on me for 2 weeks and an EEG that I took home to sleep in, that was so uncomfortable and I looked like an alien haha. I heard somewhere that I was going to get a pacemaker put in but I ended up not. During these I sometimes can hear people talking but I can't react. Something was controlling my body and I didn't like it. I would bang my head to the wall to make myself pass out so I wouldn't have to see myself go through this.
In the month of November I had the flu, bladder infection, ringworm, chest pain, the seizures, and ear aches. That month I wanted to die. For those 5 months I was depressed and was planning my suicide. I had no reason to live, I DID NOT want to live like this for the rest of my life. I couldn't walk, take a shower, sleep, sit down, lay down, eat, or be alone without someone there helping me. Whenever I would wake up from these I couldn't remember who I was, where I was and be in extreme pain either from falling or muscle aches. I would always get bad head aches after I had an episode.Everyday I worried, I wondered what was going to happen. If I would have that seizure that would kill me and if I would be a vegetable. I didn't want days to end so I wouldn't have to start over everyday.  I put my parents through so much. My mother would take me to St. George once in a while just to get away from everything and to see if it would help. I have never seen them cry so much.
Once in a while I would see my now deceased grandma and grandpas. I would talk to them and laugh at what they were saying. They would hold my hand and try to talk to my parents too. ( this is what my parents told me).  My parents were so confused.
I have lost so many friends because of this. They either say I can't handle this or just leave and never talk to me again. This is when they witness my seizures. Even during school I have been called stupid and dumb. They would tell me that I wouldn't be able to go to high school cause I'm to stupid and the school won't have resource classes. Well look at me now people you all were wrong.
I lost count on how many times I've been to the hospital, neurologist, cardiologists, seizure specialists, and just doctors. Some of them would say I don't know and send me on my way. Some thought I was faking it to get attention. Now why would I fake something horrible like this and put my body and mind through all of that.
We went to a cardiologist in Provo. We told him practically my life story and he knew exactly what was wrong. I had neurocardiogenic syncope, low sodium, and low blood pressure. Neurocardiogenic syncope is a temporary loss of consciousness associated with a drop in arterial blood pressure, quickly followed by a slowed heart rate.  http://www.nwocc.com/Pt%20Education/neuro_syncope.pdf  this website will tell you about it.
I started taking blood pressure medications and I was back. I still had seizures here and there. Usually 3-4 a month. But I was glad I wasn't having 7-8 of them a day.
Now because of what happened throughout my life, it has effected my learning skills. I took resource classes and special testing from elementary to high school. In college I failed math 970 (pre algebra) twice, and math 1010 (algebra) 4 times. I finally seeked help from vocational rehab. They did some testing to see why I'm failing math so much. They said I had social anxiety, math learning disability (dyslexic) and mild depression. My math level was at a 4th grade. I took the test again in 5 months and it went down to 3rd. I try really hard to do math, its not my fault I don't know how to do it. It only happened when I mainly took tests. I did the one on one, math tutors, and isolated testing and it still didn't work. I would get the answers wrong but the problems right if I wrote them out. I would type it in my calculator and when it goes from the calculator to my brain to the paper that's when I write a whole different number and not the one on the calculator. I'm thinking the whole time its the right number, but its not.  My numbers would get so mixed up during this time. So they ended up me skipping math 1010 cause of the grants and the disability program at Snow. I went straight to Quantitative Literacy ( math history) and I passed with flying colors. I graduated Snow College in 2012 for a arts degree that took me 5-6 years to get when it was only a 2 year program.
 They sent me to therapy cause they thought I needed it from what happened and also Snow College gave me a peer mentor and I went to therapy there also. The peer mentor helped me on my good days when I wanted to go to a class, mainly Japanese class, even though I dropped out they let me go to that class. The therapy helped a lot. I went from being depressed, jobless, no money, seizures all the time, and failing school to getting engaged, having a wonderful job, happy, and starting a new life. I graduated from Vough rehab after I got married. Life couldn't get any better, and it did. I knew the day I went to Wal-mart without using a wheelchair was the day I could take a breath without worrying. I came home crying to my dad and said "Dad I didn't use a wheelchair today. I could walk around on my own for the first time in months".
My husband took me to a herbalist and she helped me so much. She was gradually getting me off my meds and it was working. This was when I was having 3 a month. We were trying to make them stop before we got married so we wouldn't have to worry. We didn't the wedding was amazing and nothing went wrong.
Today, I have been seizure free for a year, haven't had one since I got pregnant. Have and amazing husband and a very handsome baby boy. Although pregnancy scared me, I didn't want to put my baby at risk if something went wrong. I was afraid I would have an episode if when I actually had the baby. I had a couple of scares during pregnancy and labor but I kept saying "if I do this right now it will hurt my baby" and I would get my mind off of it. Pregnancy was hard on me especially 1st and 3rd trimesters. But I heard  other people had it worse so I was grateful I was healthy and the baby was. I had people helping me 24/7 so if something did go wrong I had help. I wasn't gonna let this stupid disability prevent me from having children. My baby is growing everyday with no health problems at all. He did have breathing problems and was 2 weeks early but he is as healthy as can be and I am grateful.
 I have been off my medication for a year and haven't had any problems since May of 2013. I am grateful for all the people that have helped me throughout these hard times.

The Best Guagamole

I made this and it is amazing. I put it on hamburgers and dipped chips in it. MMMMM so delicious. I did add less onion and garlic cause they were strong. It turned out just fine.

What you'll need:

• 1 tbs Onion cut up really good. 
• 3 avocados mashed up
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tbs hot sauce, any kind
• 1 tsp sour cream 
• 2 tsp or more lime juice or 1 fresh lime
• 2 Tbs cilantro, minced
• 2 cloves garlic ( if its already minced i just put in 1/4 tsp in. I didn't want it really garlicy)

What to do:

Cut up avocado and mash it into a bowl. Add other ingredients and mix. Enjoy:)

To my husband....

I know this isnt part of my blog but I need to let my husband know how I feel about him. I cant tell him in person cause I'll probably cry and won't be able to say anything. Just so you know I'm not very good at writing these things sometimes it comes out like word vomit. So sorry if this is word vomit, it can be word vomit with love;)

We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary on May 10th this year. Even though we don't do extravagant things to celebrate, you always find fun things to do. I wouldn't care if we didn't do anything just as long as I'm with you I don't care how we celebrate it.

"When two people are meant for each other no time is too long, no distance is to far, and nobody can keep them apart"

Marrying you was the best thing I have ever done. I'm so glad I went on that date with you and I'm glad I decided to work at Hermansens Equipment. Everyday I think about the day you gave me my promise ring. I loved how you planned that out. The day you purposed to me and surprised me with a carriage ride and a beautiful wedding ring. I want to re live these days over and over again. You are very good at surprising me, to this day you still do. December 23rd, 2011 and May 10th, 2012 was seriously the best day of my life. Our wedding was a real life fairy tale. I'm so glad we got married in the Venetian in Vegas. I would love to go back in time and marry you all over again without changing anything. Everything was perfect, from the flowers to the honeymoon.

 Your family has excepted me from the beginning and I love them to pieces. Thank you for taking care of me when the times got tough and not abandoning me. I know seeing me have a seizure is hard but you pulled me through without freaking out. 

From these 2 years we've been married you gave me everything I have ever wanted. A house, a handsome baby boy that is a spitting image of you and amazing in laws.  We traveled to North Dakota and learned new things and spent time with each other. Building our friendship and relationship. Making new adventures along the way. I miss going up the mountain with you and looking for elk and looking at the stars. Remember we use to always do that, it made me so happy.

I hope I am giving you everything you have ever wanted. I hope your as happy as I am. I love you more than anything in the world and I wouldn't trade you for anything. I love how you joke around and make me laugh. You don't judge me for the things I do, I love who you are and I don't want you to change anything. You are so handsome, everyday I look at you and say to myself " my husband is damn sexy. I am so lucky to have a good looking man like my husband". I know you aren't big on things like this but I am. I'm that kind of person that appreciates things that are done for me. Ever since I got better I think about life and that it is worth living. I decided to overcome this illness and marry the man of my dreams and be a mother and name our first boy Nash. I've always loved that name. You are the man of my dreams, you helped me accomplish that dream. I know it's not a awesome dream but to me it is. I have been more grateful for life than ever. I'm even more grateful now that I'm with you. 

Preston you can't imagine how I feel right now and every day I'm with you. I am proud to be a Nielsen and to be Augusta Camille Nielsen (Anderson). Changing my name is letting go of the past and the start of a new life with somebody I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I've always thought that had a nice ring to it. I loved saying my whole name when we got married. I will always be an Anderson, but I'm going to be a Nielsen forever and always with you.

Beauty tips. More to come!!!

These are some things I tried and worked.

• Shave your legs and or anything else with baby oil instead of shaving cream. Your legs stay soft and stay shaven for a couple of days. Well mine does. 

• An awesome way to do a ponytail. It makes your hair look long and full. But if you look from the side it looks weird but i don't care i like it. You tie a section on top and one on bottom. sorry about the pics my phone isn't the best.

With 2 ponytails

without

• Put eye solution in your mascara tube when your mascara dries up to make it last longer. Keep putting it in there till its all gone. 

MORE TO COME SOON!!!

Philly cheese steaks with cream cheese sauce

For the meat I just mainly added things that sounded good and it turned out amazing. Sorry I don't have pictures for this one. If anything doesn't make since let me know. 

What you'll need:

Picture is not mine to credit.

• Beef for stew lean or any kind of steak,cut into thin slices ( i cooked a lot of meat. I just eyed it and it made enough to feed 5-6 people sorry I don't have exact measurements)
• Seasoned meat tenderizer 
• garlic salt
• oil
• 1 green pepper or more if you want more, sliced
• half  an onion or more, sliced
• 1 tbs root beer
• Hoagie buns
• 1/4 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• Mushrooms ( optional)

Cream cheese sauce:

• 2 oz cream cheese 
• 1 c milk
• 1 tbs flour
• 4 slices of swiss cheese( I just broke them up and put them in with the cream cheese)
• 1 handful cheddar cheese
• salt and pepper
• 1 tbs butter

What to do:

Turn on broiler for hoagie buns

Cut meat really thin and long. First take the seasoned meat, garlic salt, and oil and rub on the cut up meat and work it in the meat. Place in skillet and cook on med, cook it really slow so it can soak up all the flavor and stay tender. 

When the meat is almost cooked add root beer and worchestershire sauce and mushrooms if you decide to have them. keep on med heat. 

When meat is done place the green pepper and onion with meat and cook. I like them with a crunch so i didn't cook them for very long. Put on low and start on sauce. 

Cut your hoagie buns, put on tray and place in oven and cook till light brown or toasty. I added a little butter to mine before I put them in the oven. 

Sauce:

Add 1 tbs butter to skillet and melt. Whisk in flour, cook for 1 min. Slowly stir in milk. 

Stir in cream cheese and cheese and cook till melted. Season with salt and pepper. 

Place meat and veggies in hoagie bun and dress it with sauce. So so yummy!!

Mini chicken pot pie cups

This recipe is so easy and super good. I don't measure exactly what the recipe says I mainly guess and it tastes the same and turns out good. I just go my the can of cream of chicken. If theirs a lot of it in the can ill add a little more chicken and veggies. If that makes sense sorry if it doesn't. 
What you'll need:

• 8 Biscuits
• 1 c cooked chicken
• 1 can cream of chicken
• 2/3 c shredded cheese
• 1 1/2 c frozen veggies, thawed
• 1 tsp parsley flakes (not shown)
• half an onion chopped
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• 1/2 tsp salt 

What to do:
preheat oven to 400 degrees
cook chicken. you can either boil or cook it in skillet.

Separate biscuits and place in a cup of 12 hole muffin tin

In a medium bowl combine cooked chicken, cream of chicken, veggies, cheese, parsley, and pepper. Mix.

Evenly spoon chicken mixture into cupcake tin

Bake 12 - 15 min.

DIY picture magnets

This is a cute way to make your own magnets. Its nice then you won't have all those picture falling off of your fridge. You get the base from those frozen juice containers.











What you'll need:

• Hot glue gun 
• picture of your choice
• Metal circle lid from frozen juice
• magnet strips

What to do:

 Pic a picture you want to do and your metal circle thingy.

Measure where you want to cut to make it fit. Ill hold it to the light and cut where I need to.

 Place the glue on the parts where the pictures touch the metal.

Place picture on glue and press softly

Turn it around and glue the holes. Make sure you dont put to much on.

Next, get the magnet and take the sticker stuff of and place hot glue on sticky side and place in the middle of the metal.

Tada! ending result very cute magnets:)